i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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