It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
