let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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