I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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