Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
