The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
