Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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