Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
