Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
