I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
