just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize