I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
pray to the hookup gods
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
