I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
