I wish you could order shots online.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize