I just threw up on my dentist
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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