I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
