I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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