Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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