Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
