i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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