The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
