Non-Jews are for practice
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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