in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
