It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize