He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
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I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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