i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Houston, we have a squirter
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
