Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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