She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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