This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
