Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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