My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
