You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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