its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
