In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
