so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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