Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
