at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
