We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
