You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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