Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
