Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
