Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
