his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
