i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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