That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
