i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
