Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
