Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
