Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
