He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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