O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
