my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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