I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
