I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
soo... how was my night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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