if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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