i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
