When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Boobs are out for the taking
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
