When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
