Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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