You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
