is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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