Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
