I just threw up on my dentist
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
