Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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