omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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